


Baby Mine

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:46:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1735067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin is no longer able to keep the secret she's lived with for thirty one years. How will it affect not just Dave, but also Spencer and the rest of the BAU? And will either man be able to find it in his heart to forgive and accept her for who she really is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Erin sighed as she stared out at the bullpen from Dave's office. She had kept this secret for so long that she didn't think she would ever be able to tell a soul. And yet, he deserved to know. They both did. She had done so much to bury her past life, to distance herself from her brainy, academic, older sister that no one knew she was related to her. Not even her own son. Their own son. After all, she had raised him, away from her.

"Penny for your thoughts, Erin."

She turned and looked at her lover, feeling every one of her forty eight years weighing heavily on her. "I wish I could tell you here. I wish I could make this right. I just never expected us to fall back in love. And this could very well destroy us."

"Whoa, that sounds kind of serious, bella." He cupped her chin gently and raised her face up to look at his. "What is going on?"

She shrugged as she struggled not to cry. "I'm so sorry. Even if you hate me for the rest of your life, just know how sorry I am. I cannot live a lie any longer."

"Do you want to break up?"

Erin shook her head vigorously. "No! I love you, I will always love you, but you might want nothing to do with me after I tell you this."

Blake must have overheard her raised voice, as she looked up at them, a faint frown on her face. Erin shrank back into Dave, not wanting to deal with that woman on top of everything else that was about to happen. "Let's head out and talk then, Erin."

"Okay," she whispered, feeling defeated. She looked over at Spencer and felt a longing, deep in her heart, to tell him the truth as well. He deserved to hear it, after all. "Could we take your car? I don't think that I could drive right now."

"Whatever you need, bella." He wrapped his arm around her waist, leading her out into the throng. The others looked at her, she could feel their eyes on her, and she shrank again, wanting to disappear.

"Hey, wait up!" Agent Morgan's voice cut through the murmur of work and she paused, knowing he would follow them if they didn't stop. "Is everything all right, Erin?"

He'd taken to using her given name, and she rather liked the slight insubordination. It had made her feel included in the group. "I don't know yet, Derek."

"Are you craving?"

The question gave her pause. She should be craving. What she was about to do would affect the rest of her life and her old self would have loved nothing more than to escape into the oblivion of alcohol. "Surprisingly, no. But thank you for your concern." Her eyes filled with tears once more and, to her shock, he reached out and hugged her tightly.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I've seen the progress you've made and I wouldn't want anything to set that back."

"Okay." Derek let go of her and she stepped back into the safety of David's arms. "If you pray, pray for me, for us." He nodded and they went out to the elevators.

"You really have me worried here, Erin. I hope to God that you aren't going to tell me that you have some awful communicable disease and that I'm at risk, too." David rubbed her back in gentle circles and she shuddered a little.

"Nothing like that. We're heading right home." He nodded and she fell silent, not wanting to say anything more before she was in a safe, private, space. The drive home seemed to take forever, but soon, he was pulling into the garage and leading her into the living room.

"All right, spill. What is making you so upset today?"

She took a deep breath. "Remember our first fling?"

"You were so young, and I was so dumb. I knew that you were in love with me, and I used that to my advantage. I was hurting after losing James and Carolyn in short order and used you terribly. I was shocked to see you turn up at the FBI all those years later."

"And I hated you. But not really, since I loved you too much to hate you." She reached out for his hand and clasped it tightly, running her thumb back and forth lightly. "I kept a secret from you, one that you had the right to know about. I was just so focused on my future, on becoming something more than what I was. I had lived in the shadow of my older sister for so long, which is why I got together with you in the first place."

"Wait, you have an older sister? Why did I never meet her?"

"Di was already working on her PhD at that time. She fell in love with medieval philosophy and left us to pursue that dream of hers."

A small light of confused understanding lit his eyes. "Are you trying to tell me that Diana Reid is your sister?"

"Maybe. Yes. She is. Her schizophrenia wasn't so bad then, and it was easily controlled with the medication. But I cut off all ties with her after…"

"After what, Erin?"

"After I gave her our baby." She felt him tighten his grip on her hand as he drew in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, run that by me again."

She looked deep into his eyes and saw a miasma of emotion. Shining through all of it, though, was love, and she began to cry once more. "I gave her our baby because I couldn't raise one and go to college. I wanted my child in the family, even if I couldn't take care of him. I'm so sorry, David, that I never told you this."

He rubbed her shoulder gently as they stared at each other. Erin felt like she couldn't tear her gaze away from his, and soon her tears slowed, even as his own began. "I have a son. In the BAU. Does he have any idea?"

She shook her head slowly. "No, I made Diana and William swear that they would never tell him. I didn't want him hampered by the knowledge that his screw up of a single mother hadn't wanted him."

"That's not the truth." She cocked her head to the side and he reached up to wipe her tears away. "If you hadn't wanted him, you would have had an abortion."

She let out a deep, shuddery, breath as she nodded. "I know, I would have. But you have to be angry at me. For God's sake, Spencer is thirty one now, and I stole all those years from you. I fucked you over."

He ran his thumb along her cheekbone before pulling her close to his chest. This movement brought out the sobs in her again. "After the way I left you, Erin, I don't blame you for keeping that from me. We fought like cats and dogs when you entered the FBI, and then I retired and thought nothing of you until I returned and still treated you badly. And maybe I will be angry come the morning, but right now, I think I'm in shock."

She nodded slowly, burrowing close to him as she cried. She unconsciously slipped off to sleep, barely feeling Dave lift her up and carry her to their room.


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning, Erin woke up alone, the covers pulled up around her shoulders. On Dave's pillow lay a piece of paper and she picked it up, reading the note he'd left.

_Erin, like I suspected, I woke up this morning angry. Angry at you, angry at me, and angry at the situation we found ourselves in all those years ago. I love you, never doubt that, but I had to work out some of this anger before I took it out on you. So, I'm taking a walk around the property. When I get back, we'll talk some more. I love you, David_

She felt her heart break a little as she read his note, thankful that he hadn't decided to leave her in the cold light of morning. Getting out of bed, she saw that he had laid out clothes for her on the chest and she padded over and tugged on the jeans and sweater before heading downstairs. Dave had made coffee for them before he had headed out and she poured herself a cup before heading to the library, determined to lose herself in a good book.

"Good morning, Erin." She turned her body to look up at him, feeling her lower lip quiver. "May I sit with you?"

"Of course you may, David." She set the book aside and patted the space next to her. He sat heavily and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. "Where's your heart right now?"

"I'm still upset. And wondering what I could have done differently so that you wouldn't have felt like you had to give our baby away, even if it was to family. Why?"

"I was so young, and already accepted to college. I wanted to be free of the shadow of my sister, my family, and so I took the only option I felt available. I'm so sorry." She began to cry once more and he held her close. "What are we going to tell Spencer? I mean, we have to tell him, there's no way you can live with this knowledge and not tell him. He's going to hate me even more than he already does."

"Shh, honey, we'll make him understand. Now, I know Diana never talked about you, he would have mentioned something like that over the years I've known him. It's safe to assume that he is in the dark about his true parentage. Do you think sooner would be better to break this news to him?"

She took a deep breath. "I have no idea, David. I really would have went to my grave with this knowledge, had we not gotten back together. And I know how unfair that is to you. Alan doesn't even know I have another child, you know. I never told him that."

Dave kissed the side of her head and she sighed, pulling his free arm around her waist. "We can't have regrets in our life, bella. It holds us back. And before you say it, I know that I don't listen to my own advice." He rubbed her stomach absently. "Was it an easy pregnancy?"

"I suppose. I only put on about twenty five pounds, but it seemed like it all went to my breasts. My best friend was the only one who stuck by me." She sighed and nestled closer to his heart, listening to the steady beating. "I had hardly any morning sickness, which Momma said was a blessing. I didn't realize that I would lose them so quickly after Spencer was born."

His hand stilled on her stomach and she covered it, holding on. "When did they pass?"

"Six months after he was born. I was still missing him so badly, even though I was at college and throwing myself into schoolwork and my sorority. I knew when the RA came to my room that something bad had happened. My professors gave me an extension on everything, but I didn't need it."

"Oh, Erin," he whispered as he kissed her cheek. "I missed so much by being such a jackass. I don't know why you let me back into your life."

"Because I love you. A small piece of my heart never stopped loving you." She looked up into his brown eyes and saw that he was crying. "And now, you're still here with me."

"And I always will be, Erin. You know, the petty part of me is still raging that you dared to give up our child without even telling me. I wish that I could drown that part of me out."

"Don't bury those feelings, look at what happened to me." She snuggled closer, letting him pull her into his lap. "Yell at me, shake me, but let it all out. Please."

Instead, he kissed her forehead softly, gently, and Erin started to cry, feeling overwhelmed by emotion. "If I start to yell, I won't stop. Why would Diana never mention you to Spencer? How did you create that rift?"

"By not answering her calls, her letters. I changed my name, fell off the face of the planet to her. And then I met Alan, got married, and my name changed again. And as I had my children, I fought harder and harder to forget about the one I had given away. Yet he still danced through my mind."

"Aaron mentioned something once, about how he thought you favored your son. He couldn't seem to figure it out."

"And now you know why. I guess I wasn't that hard to read, as I look back at myself and my actions. I just missed my son so." She lifted her head and looked at his jaw, trying to determine his mood. The muscles weren't clenched, which was a good sign, and she lifted her fingers to brush against his cheek. "And I missed you."

"I missed you, too." His hand slid up to cup her breast and she adjusted how she was sitting so that he could more easily hold her. "Perhaps we should talk to Hotch first about this kettle of fish we find ourselves in. He's a good listener, you know."

"So I've heard." She closed her hand around his, tightening his grasp on her breast. "Maybe we could invite him over for supper tonight?"

"And who would be making this supper?"

"You, of course. You've always been the better cook. You learned it from your mother. I remember these delicious little pastries that she used to make, filled with lemon." Her stomach growled at the mere thought of them and he laughed lowly. "Does she still make them?"

"Bella, she's nearing ninety. She doesn't bake anymore."

"Oh." Her heart hurt to think about how time had passed without her noticing it. It made sense though, Mrs. Rossi was older when they had met, but she had just assumed it was like her parents version of older. "Time sometimes slips past me, you know."

"Me, too." He pulled her further onto his lap so that she straddled him, kissing her gently. "We should probably get us breakfast, though. I'm a bit hungry myself." She nodded and then leaned in to kiss him once more.

"I love you, David." She brought her forehead to rest against his. "And I know how much control you have. Thank you."

"I'd forgotten how well you could read me, bella." He stole another kiss from her before wrapping her up in a tight hug. "I'll probably take another walk after breakfast. The quiet of the woods tends to absorb my voice."

"I'll have to remember that, darling." She stood and held out her hand to him, wanting him to clasp it. The moment his hand slid into hers, she felt a little of the burden she was carrying lift off her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

"Thank you for coming on such late notice, Aaron. We really appreciate this," Erin said warmly as she opened the door for him. He nodded at her, a soft look of concern on his face. "Would you care for anything to drink? We have coffee, tea, water, and I think there's some apple juice left."

His brow furrowed a little as he continued to look at her. "Water will be fine, Erin."

She nodded. "Dave's in the study. I'll join you both in just a minute." She went into the kitchen and pulled out one of the pitchers, quickly covering the bottom of it with ice before filling it with water. Then she grabbed three glasses and carried everything into the study.

Looking around the room, she saw that Aaron had chosen to sit in Dave's chair while Dave sat on the sofa, leaving a spot on the end for her. She poured water for each of them, handing them out before sitting down next to her lover, cuddling into him. Dave's arm automatically came to rest around her shoulders and she smiled a little as she let her head come to rest on his chest. "So, you're probably wondering why we asked you to come here, Hotch."

"A little, yes. I assume it has something to do with why you both took off yesterday." They nodded in tandem. "So, what is it that we have to talk about?"

"You're going to have a hard time believing this, Aaron. I just want to tell you that upfront." Erin took a deep breath and then sipped at her water, knowing he was watching her every move. "Thirty years ago, well, closer to thirty two, but who's counting, I was in a relationship with David. He and Carolyn had moved to my hometown right before they found out they were going to have James."

As she watched, a flash of judgment passed over his face. Dave must have picked up on the look as well, as his hand tightened around her shoulder. "It wasn't until we had split that Erin and I got together. Not that you'll like me any more for how young Erin was when we first let things get physical between us."

"That's neither here nor there, David. I fancied myself in love with you and went after you. And then you left, and I found out…"

Aaron held up a hand, stopping her. "Wait, wait, you had his child?" He had put together the puzzle much quicker than she had imagined, and she blanched a little.

"That's what I'm trying to say, yes. And you know our child, you've known him for a long time."

Dave adjusted how he was holding her, pulling her closer to his body as they both watched Aaron's face. Erin knew he was an intelligent man, that it wouldn't take him long to put those pieces together and come up with… "Reid? Reid is your child? How could you have kept something like that under wraps? Did you know, Dave?"

They both drew in a sharp breath at the cutting tone of his words. "No, I only found out myself yesterday."

"That is such a dick move, Erin." His anger was justified, but she still shrank back against David, needing to be sheltered by his arms as she burst into tears. "Oh, and don't even try to make me feel sympathy for you by turning on the waterworks. That doesn't work on me."

David's hand tightened painfully on her shoulder and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. "We didn't ask you here for your condemnation. We asked you here because we needed an ear to listen to us. How do we break this to the kid?"

"You're seriously asking that of me? I have no idea where to begin here. I mean, you've been lying for most of your life, Erin. I don't let my teammates lie about even the littlest thing."

She nodded stupidly, trying to stem the flow of her tears. "I know," she whispered, pulling away from David. "If you'll excuse me, please." Getting up from the couch, she fled from the room, running up the stairs and into the bedroom, throwing herself on the bed and letting herself sob.

Erin barely registered the sound of footsteps in the room, or the dip of the bed. "I'm here, Erin," Dave whispered lovingly, spooning his body around hers. She tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let her go, holding her tightly against his body until she melted against him. "Aaron left, I thought it would be best if he did."

"He hates me, and rightfully so. You should hate me, too. I've built this relationship on a lie, one that should never have been told."

Dave pressed his lips to her cheek and began to rock her back and forth, seeking to soothe her. "You did what you thought best at the time. I may not fully understand why you kept this from me, from us, for so long, but I do know that I love you."

She gasped a little. He hadn't told her that yet, not since she had revealed her secret to him, and this made her cry all the harder. "I love you, too, David. I don't deserve this love, but here you are, offering it to me. Kiss me?"

"Yes, bella." She lifted her face and he covered her lips gently. This kiss was so different from the others that they had shared, tender, sweet, loving, and full of compassion. "I love you." He rested his forehead against hers and they sighed in tandem.

"Supper is still in the oven, isn't it?"

He chuckled lowly. "You can think of food at a time like this?"

"No. I just don't want it to burn. I'm not sure that I could eat anything right now." She drew in a long breath. "I hate myself," she whispered, burying her face in his shoulder.

His hands turned her so that she was facing him. "Erin Strauss, never let me hear you say that ever again. Your decision was made when I left you. I didn't exactly leave you a forwarding address to get ahold of me, now did I?" She shook her head. "There you go, then. You are a wonderful, vibrant, caring, woman who I love deeply. And now we share something beautiful, our son." Leaning in, he kissed her once more and Erin sank into his arms, suddenly unwilling to let go of him. "You know, we do have to get up and take care of the food. You said so yourself," he murmured against her lips.

"I know." Reluctantly, she pushed away from him and sat up, stretching. "I never heard the door close. Are you sure he went home?"

"Yes, bella, I am. How are you feeling?" He stood and held his hand out to her.

She stood, taking hold of his hand. "A little woozy, to be honest. I think it's the lingering side-effects of that drug, Davie." Her eyes filled with tears once more. "You understand now why I had to tell you. If someone should hurt us again, we might not be so lucky this time. And I couldn't die without letting you know."

The tears started falling so quickly, and he gathered her up in a tight embrace. "I know, Erin, I know." He kissed her forehead and she sighed lightly. "I think that's part of why I was so upset yesterday. I realized all that I could have lost had we been any later in getting to you." He ran his hand down to her wrist, his thumb brushing against the infinity scar on her wrist. "I love you, Erin."

"I love you, too. With all my heart." Together, they went down to the kitchen, only to see that Aaron was still there, an apologetic look on his face. "Aaron?"

"I reacted badly. I'm sorry. We're all still dealing with the fallout of the Replicator." She nodded, molding her body to David's. "So, I figured you'd be coming down to deal with the food and decided to help you out."

"Thanks, Aaron." David led her over to the table, and she sat down. "Do you want anything before we put it away, bella?"

"Maybe. I really should eat. And you can mark day twenty five on the calendar."

Aaron looked at her in shock and she shrugged. "You didn't willingly drink, Erin."

"I know. I know." She gave in to her tears once more, and this time it was Aaron who came to her side, who pulled her into a tight embrace. "He still stole my sobriety from me. I just, I lost. I let them take the fall for a mistake we all made, and it almost killed me. I can't cover up the truth any longer."

Tenderly, he rubbed her arm, letting her cry on his shoulder as David plated their food. The quiet of the room seeped into her bones and she took a deep breath, trying to quiet her soul. "And tomorrow, when you come to the office, we'll sit down with Reid and somehow, we'll get all three of you through this." She nodded, clinging to him all the more.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you ready to head in, Erin?"

She looked up at David, a small frown marring her face. "No. But I have to do this. We have to do this. My stomach is all knotted up, honey."

"I can only imagine, darling. Here, come here." He opened his arms, and she stepped into them, letting him wrap her into a tight embrace. "I love you," he whispered in her ear and she nodded hesitantly against his shoulder. "You still don't believe me."

"I do. My head just can't seem to grasp the fact that you are sweet and loving and have forgiven me. You should hate me, revile me, for keeping this secret from you and from him. After everything we've been through, together and apart, you have still chosen to be by my side." She turned her head and kissed his cheek, rubbing her nose against the soft hair of his goatee. "He's going to reject me."

"You don't know that, Erin."

"Yes, I do. You saw how Aaron reacted. How could Spencer's reaction be anything but a million times worse?" She let him lead her out to the car, grateful he hadn't suggested that she eat anything before they went in. She was certain that it would come right back up the moment it hit her stomach.

"Erin, look at me." Hesitantly, she raised her eyes to look into his, and she saw a soft smile spreading across his face. "Even if he reacts badly, I will be here for you. I promise you that. I love you, and only you. And as we get to know our son, together, I know that we will only become closer and stronger."

She nodded and leaned over in the seat, kissing him tenderly. "I love you, too, David. With all my heart." Together, they walked out to the car and he helped her in. As he drove them in, she stared down at her clasped hands, wishing that there was some way she could tell Spencer without having to be there as she did.

"You can't back out on me now, bella. How about we head out to breakfast, and I'll call Hotch to let him know that we'll be a little late this morning? I know that you probably feel like you don't want to eat anything, but you really should. Even if it's just a few slices of toast."

She nodded absently and tried not to flinch when he reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it twice before taking hold of the wheel once more. Erin stared out the window as he drove, trying to take her mind off the nerves that were rapidly building. Her lover finally pulled into the parking lot of a Waffle House, and she smiled. They had gone here for one of their first dates, and she was pleased that he had remembered to take her someplace that he knew would comfort her. "Oh, David."

"What? I knew that this would be the best place for you this morning. We have a good history here, and I know nothing makes me feel better than someplace that I feel safe."

She sighed lightly as she got out of the car and soon he was at her side, taking her hand and leading her in the restaurant. The hostess soon sat them, and she made certain that she was able to watch the door, and she saw David smile at her sadly. "Why don't you call Aaron while I decide on what I think I can keep down?"

"All right," he replied before reaching across the table and caressing her cheek. Erin couldn't stop herself from rubbing against his hand and he smiled at her as he drew his hand back and pulled out his cellphone. As he dialed, she picked up the menu and perused it carefully. For some reason, she gravitated towards the eggs and settled on getting two over medium. Setting aside the placard, she rested her chin in her hand as she listened to his side of the conversation. "So, I think we should be there in about ninety minutes. I just really want Erin to feel comfortable, you know? Thanks, Aaron. See you soon."

He hung up and she went to say something when their waitress appeared. "Hi, what can I get you folks to drink?"

"We'll need a carafe of regular coffee and orange juice. And if you don't mind, we're ready to order, too."

The young woman nodded and scribbled on her pad. "Sure thing! What would you like?" She focused on Erin, and she suddenly blanked, waving to David.

He sighed a little and spoke up. "I'll have the country ham and eggs, eggs poached. White toast, lightly toasted, and hashbrowns. Erin?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'd like two eggs, over medium, white toast, heavy on the butter, and oatmeal. Please." The woman nodded and moved off, writing on her pad still. "Sorry, David, I'm just so keyed up right now."

He nodded and reached out for her hand once more. She willingly handed it over, relishing the way his thumb rubbed against her palm, seeking to soothe her. "And I just want to tell you that everything will go smoothly."

"It might not, though. I'd rather prepare for the worst. Like Reid hating me and never speaking to me ever again. That would hurt, but it would be understandable. I'm not certain that I'm ready to hear him reject me wholesale, though. Does that make me a coward?"

David shook his head. "No, it makes you a realist. You know what to expect, even if the prospect of it devastates you. I have to admit, I'm unsettled, too, about how the kid will react. He can be volatile at times, which is understandable, given what's happened to him in his short life. And we are about to upset the applecart."

"That we are." The waitress returned with the coffee and juice, and Erin picked up her glass, sipping at juice absently as she stared at David. "You know, you would think that I would be able to use my degree in psychology to analyze this situation clearly. I just can't seem to separate my feelings from the facts."

"That happens to the best of us. This is a situation where even our best attempts at distance will fail us. I, I'm not sure how I'll feel if he rejects us. I mean, he's our son."

A warm feeling filled her heart to hear her David speak of them as a team and she nodded hurriedly before taking another long sip of juice, needing to distract herself from the emotion that was welling up. It was too late, however, and a few tears began to roll down her cheeks just as their waitress brought their food over. "Is everything all right, Sugar?" she asked, her voice full of concern, and reminding Erin of Penelope. And that thought made her cry harder, even as she nodded.

The young woman rooted through the pockets of her apron before fishing out a packet of tissues. "Thanks," Erin whispered as she took the tissues from her hand, pulling one out and dabbing at her eyes. "I'll be fine, it's not you."

She nodded and then rubbed her shoulder gently in comfort before moving off. "Let me guess, we're leaving a good tip." Erin nodded before pursing her lips together tightly, trying to stop the tears. He sighed before grinning at her, digging in to his food. She copied his movements, trying to get something in her stomach so that she would have one less thing to focus on when they had their meeting with Spencer. And she prayed that it would go well. She wasn't sure her heart could take much more hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

Erin sat in the car and tried to control her breathing. She knew that the shallow, harsh, breaths she was sucking in would soon lead to a panic attack on her part, and that was the last thing she needed on this, of all days. David put the car in park, turning it off before turning to look at her, reaching out for her hand.

"We need to go in there, bella. Aaron is expecting us, and it would be better if we just ripped this bandage off. The pain will be less if it's done quickly, rather than drawing it out." She nodded and unbuckled her seatbelt, opening the door and stepping into the parking garage. Still, she found herself so apprehensive about heading in. Soon, Spencer would know the truth of everything, and she had the feeling that this would not end well, no matter how David tried to convince her otherwise.

"Good morning, Erin!"

She turned to see that Karen Arnold was rapidly approaching her, and she nodded a little, the feeling of butterflies becoming worse as one of her friends acknowledged her. "Hey, Karen. You're running late today."

"So are you. Late night?" she asked with a broad wink, glancing over at Dave. Erin blushed a little as she shook her head, allowing the woman to start guiding her over to the entrance. Dave followed close by, his hand brushing against hers as they walked.

"I wish. I've been a little under the weather, and I think I'm still feeling the effects."

"That's not good," she said, swiping her badge and letting them all inside. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Erin shook her head slowly as they stepped into the elevator. There weren't very many other people on it, but she still, instinctively, stepped close to Dave, fishing for his hand as she turned to look at Karen. "I just need to take it easy today, but I don't think that's going to happen. I'm going to have to face a hard situation in Alpha team, and I don't think that it's going to go well, no matter how I couch my words."

"So if I hear anything through the grapevine…?"

"Take it with a grain of salt. And if you really want to know the full story, call me later." She gave her friend a strained smile, welcoming the gentle pat of her hand on her upper arm. They shared a small wave when Karen got off at the fourth floor, leaving them alone on the car. Dave pulled her close to his side, and she sighed a little as she slumped against him. "I really don't know if I can do that, David. I know that I have your support. I know that Aaron is trying to remain a neutral party. But I also know that Spencer is going to hate me, straight off the bat. I, I think I'm going to be sick."

"You'll be fine, Erin," he whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her head, wrapping his arm around her waist as he held her close. All too soon, the doors opened, and they were stepping out into the hall. No one else was milling around, which told her just how late they were, and she drew in a shaky breath as Dave nudged her towards the bullpen.

"Can't I even put my purse down in my office?" she asked, trying to stall for time.

"If I let you do that, bella, you wouldn't leave it again. I know you." He squeezed her side gently, and she nodded as they started across the hall. Looking through the glass windows, Erin could see the hustle and bustle of the day was fully under way, and that calmed her heart a little. The routine of it, the mundanity of it, lulled her into thinking that perhaps everything would go better than she feared.

And then, the milling throng cleared enough to reveal Spencer's desk. It seemed like the entire team was gathered there, listening to some story that he was telling, and Erin felt the bottom of her stomach drop out. Heaving a little, she turned to look at Dave, pleading with her eyes to allow her to escape, even if only for a moment, so that she could gather her thoughts. "David…"

"If you don't face this now, it will only get harder. Think about everything that's happened, Erin. I know that you can do this."

Another shaky breath left her mouth as she nodded. "Okay. Okay." She gave him a tremulous smile and he smiled brilliantly down at her. That look gave her the strength to open the doors to the bullpen and step inside, allowing the noises of people working to bolster her a little as she made her way over to Spencer's desk.

Alex noticed her first, and she cocked her head to one side, frowning slightly. Erin tried to ignore the way that she frowned at her, knowing deep in her heart that whatever good will she had regained after Curtis had tried to kill them would disappear with this revelation. She tried to smile, but felt like it was more of a grimace. This caused Alex to slip off Spencer's desk and touch his shoulder almost protectively.

That move caused her to blanch, and she backed into Dave, feeling the intense need to escape from the situation wash over her. And she might have turned and ran from the bullpen had Aaron not approached them, resting his hand on her shoulder and giving her a patient, gentle, look. "Good morning, everyone. I'm glad to see that Erin and Dave are here."

"Why's that, Hotch?" Penelope asked, giving her a tentative smile, which Erin tried to return.

He looked down at her, and she shook her head a little. "I've arranged to have a little meeting between them and Reid."

Penelope's friendly smile slipped from her face as she looked between them all, as if she was trying to figure out what was going on. Jennifer and Derek were frowning deeply, looking ready to protest anything that was going to happen. Spencer just looked confused, which tore at Erin's heart, and she had to struggle to not reach out and smooth his hair, offer him comfort, to react like a mother would.

Alex, though, she was the one to speak up, a look of sheer disbelief on her face. "If you think I'm going to let you railroad him out of a job after everything that's happened to him in the last year, you have another thing coming, Erin. I thought that you were changing. Or do I need to take this up with Director Sheppard?"

Erin blanched a little, shaking her head as she shrank back against her lover. Too quick tears burned in her eyes, and she blinked them back, determined not to cry in front of them all. "Where is this meeting going to be held, Hotch?" Reid asked flatly, not looking at either of them, which cut deeper than she had thought it might.

"In my office. And it would be best if we got it over with sooner, than later."

Alex looked ready to protest once more, and Spencer shook his head at her. "That's fine by me. I know exactly where I stand with the Bureau. After you." He gestured up towards said office with his hand, and Erin gave a sharp nod as she made her way up the stairs, listening to the harsh buzz of voices behind her back. "I'll be fine, Blake, just wait here, and I'll explain everything as soon as I know it." That was all it took to crack her heart wide open, and the first tears slipped out of her eyes as she went into the office, not certain if she was ready to tell Spencer but knowing that there was no backing out now.


	6. Chapter 6

The silence that descended on the office the moment Aaron shut the door was thick, oppressive, but Erin knew that breaking that silence would just lead to something worse. Still, as she took a seat on the low couch that was there, Dave next to her, she dared to give Spencer a soft, fleeting, smile. The only thing she received in return was a dark scowl as he and Aaron pulled two chairs over to the couch and taking a seat across from them.

Dave cleared his throat after a few moments, the sound way too loud for the room, or so it seemed to her ears. "Erin, it's okay. You can do this."

Spencer stared at her, and it was then that she realized just how much he was starting to look like her father. The familiarity of his visage both set her mind a little more at ease and caused her heart to constrict with tension. It was a curious sensation, and she opened her mouth to speak, only to find her throat too dry to make any noise come out.

"Chief Strauss? What is it that you have to say to me?"

She met Spencer's gaze as steadily as she could, still finding words escaping her. Aaron took pity on her in that moment, and he got up and poured her a glass of water from the carafe behind his desk. "Take as much time as you need, Erin, but realise that this has to be taken care of today." He gave her an almost understanding look as he took a seat once more, and she nodded before sipping at the water.

"This has been weighing heavily on my heart ever since I returned to work, after Curtis tried to destroy my life. I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't rock the boat, that I should just let things run smoothly since everything was going so well. But then I remembered that the reason why Curtis hated me so much was for the secrets and lies that I had allowed to rule my life. And so, I realized that the truth had to be told."

"What truth?" he interrupted, looking between her and Dave, as if putting together pieces of a puzzle that he didn't have the picture for.

"The truth that you are our child."

Spencer recoiled as if she had struck him, a look of disgust on his face. "You're lying."

She shook her head, unable to hold her tears inside any longer. "Would we all be here if I was?"

He glared at her, the black look on his face enough to scare her, and she shrank against Dave, welcoming his arm around her shoulders as he held her close. "You really haven't changed, not one bit. You're still a snake in the grass, looking to strike out and poison whoever you can reach. It's no wonder John Curtis wanted you dead." Each word was like a blow to her body, and she struggled to keep from letting out the hysterical sobs that tore at her throat. "And do not even begin to think that your crocodile tears will get you out of a lie so heinous."

"She's not lying. We are your parents."

Dave's soft words seemed to break through the haze of Spencer's anger, and he fixed his gaze on her lover, a sneer curling his lips upwards. "If you're really my parents, that means Strauss would have been about fifteen when you knocked her up. There are so many holes in this story, and I can't believe that you fell for it, Hotch! Look at them! They can't even speak, since they're trying to spin the next lie."

"She's not lying, and if it would make you feel better, we can get a DNA test to say as much," Dave bit out, his fingers digging almost painfully into her shoulder. Spencer just gave them a disgusted look and got up from his chair, storming from the office. The moment the door struck the wall, Erin broke down sobbing, curling up into as small of a ball she could make. "Erin, bella," she heard Dave murmur, and she shook her head, pulling away from him as she allowed her sorrow to take over her body.

"Hey, Erin. Can I sit next to you?"

Those soft words broke through her sobs, and she looked up to see Penelope smiling at her sweetly. Shrugging a little, she scooted over and made room for the woman, almost welcoming the warmth that radiated off her. "I'm going to make certain that everything is okay with Reid," Aaron said lowly as he got out of his chair, sparing a tiny, encouraging, smile for her.

He left the door open, and Erin wished that he had closed it. She didn't want anyone walking by to see her like this. She didn't want to be seen as losing control so badly. But then, Penelope was reaching out and taking hold of her hand, threading their fingers together. "Can you tell me why you're so upset? Or why Reid stormed out of here?"

She shook her head, finally allowing her body to stretch out normally as she stared down at their entwined hands. "I'm a liar, through and through, and my lies have finally caught up to me."

"I'm sorry?"

She shook her head, a fresh burst of tears falling down her face as her diaphragm started to shift oddly, letting her know that if she wasn't careful, she'd throw up soon. Penelope just tugged her closer, allowing her to sob on her shoulder as Dave rubbed her arm comfortingly. "Did she tell you what she's done now, Baby Girl?"

The derision in Derek's voice cut her to the quick, and she pursed her lips together, trying to calm down. Glancing up, she could see the way he reviled her, and a part of Erin knew that she deserved that. She deserved everything thrown at her for the magnitude of the lie she had been telling for so many years. "Erin is obviously upset, Der. Why do you seem to think this is a good thing?"

"Because she actually told Reid that she's his mother, and Rossi is his father. Come on, you have to be able to see that this is just some weird attempt to divide us, and after everything we've been through in the last year, it comes off as pretty cold and calculating."

"It's hard to fake tears like this, Derek Morgan! And even if this is some scheme, maybe there's a reason for it. And maybe you could hear Erin's side of things before you decide that she's a liar. Remember, there are always two sides to every story."

He sneered at her, and Erin knew that any good will she might have found with him after her return from rehab was now gone. "I think that I've already heard the only side of the story that I need to, Garcia. You'll need to get your priorities in check here, because Reid still needs us, as he deals with getting past the grief of missing Maeve."

Erin closed her eyes and pulled away from Penelope, not wanting her to have to choose between the person who was so obviously her best friend or her. And then Penelope tugged her back, and Erin could hear the rough breaths that escaped her throat, as if she was trying to hold herself back from screaming. "Derek Morgan, I think you'll find that my priorities are completely in line with my heart. I know true sorrow when I see it, and I'll thank you to trust me enough to know that as well. Now, please leave, and close the door on your way out. Give Erin some privacy as she tries to get control of herself."

Derek let out a huff of impatience, but Erin listened as he did what Penelope had said. Pulling away from the woman once more, she looked into her eyes and gave her a tender smile. "You are not to lose your best friend because of me."

"Well, my best friend can also stop being an ass. Now, tell me, are you truly Reid's mother?"

She had just drawn in a long breath when the door opened once more, revealing Alex, who was wearing an inscrutable look on her face. "Yes, Erin. Do tell us."


End file.
